My whole Being is constant. I don't shut my senses off. I don't hide. I don't pretend. So every day is open, loving, true, honest; tough like treading through mud; it's sometimes painful, heavy and cornered with anxiety because some things are out of own control. Some things cannot be changed. While people now and again try to fool me, lie to me, test me; and I show, question, say and exceed the expectations.. All things combined, I'm sure, is scary for some thus leaving me on a long road with few and far in between that completely understand and that is not running away from..me..
Obviously I don't consider myself "normal". I don't always know exact things (because I'm not all-knowing :P) I 'know' close enough to question. That is not a 'normal' occurrence, I realize this, however for me it is a normal flow of everyday life. I wouldn't want it any other way. I rather carry stones that are larger and heavier, but I know them, than me free from carrying anything, and live in hypocrisy of my existence.
I have never even attempted to explain 'how' it occurs to me. Never, because it's .. different. People rarely listen enough to comprehend. Most times communications are self serving. They need my help. So I give, believing that one day, someone will give back. I give because I want to.
I know who people I connect to are talking to/emailing/commit to. I sense thoughts/motives, the other persons thoughts and intent, and I 'see' the end result.
I "hear" thoughts. It's not voices, and no I'm not mentally ill :P It's a combination of connection, energy, frequency, and vibration of thought patterns and sounds. Thoughts are just as valid as actions, even if people don't think so generally. But for me there is no difference. Intent is the 'judge & doer'. The intent sets the cause and effect. The intent of any thought/action also creates the consequence of the thought/action. Thus Intent is the important Essence in any communication (physical, spiritual, emotional).
The combo creates a vague sound that I guess could equal a voice. If concentrating on that sound, I sometimes know what someone types, as if they read it out loud. Other times I see it as a written letter before me. A rolling text screen. All that is based on my own well-being. If focused enough, no problem.
Warnings ring in one ear, information rings in the other. That helps me determine course of action. Warnings makes me aware that if the pattern continues this way, "this" will happen. Information is more a heads up; cannot be changed but I have a sense of the outcome and can somewhat prepare for it. Weird? I guess. But absolutely comfortable and safe.
I feel the intensity and intent as energy waves through me, and that in combination of what I said before ('hearing' and 'seeing') creates a picture. All senses are in as well. I taste the intent (sweet or bitter) physically in my mouth if the situation is intense enough.
So.. Thoughts, emotions, motives, next step. Surely that's scary for people to interact with. I understand that.. [sighs]
And outside of that, it's the normal small things. Say things as answers before people ask, call right when they are about to call me, fetch people in situations if that is on my path as if it was meant to happen. Right person in the right place at the right time.
I See, but far from every time I see, I Say. Most times it's kept until the person is "ready" by situation or choice.. other times its never said at all. That's what I carry.
For me it all became a choice. Not the power but the usage of it. I don't help people if I'm not ok (unless emergency) because of the risk to draw energy instead of giving energy. I don't tell people answers to their questions unless I'm Clear Sighted.. So if my vision is clouded (I'm sad, angry or stressed) the visions would easily be negative in energy and since we create reality, I don't want to create negative patterns or negative happenings for people.
My path has been interesting. I rarely ever speak of it.. Because it's different and if people can't handle my normal every day life me, then how to handle where I've been or what I know? I'm not special, I'm not weird. I'm just on a path and thats it. I'm me.
After years of interacting with secret groups, priesthoods, open practicing groups, own studies through spirituality, philosophies and religions; trips and travels across the planet to experience it all as well; I ended up being initiated into a large Druid Order in 1999, being the 3rd woman ever to be initiated into the priesthood. Then I realized something interesting.. [smiles]
It was all too limited.
I know secrecy is many times needed for things to not get out of hand. But I know more.. So what does THAT mean?
I left. I found the reason why I all the time felt limited even in said *unlimited* groups. I ended up finding the rituals to be limited. Why use middle hands? Why have gods who represent attributes one may not have but want to have - instead of finding means to learn and grow to HAVE those attributes (Strength, Courage, Love, Knowledge.. and all the things that gods and goddesses many times present).
To show devotion to something higher is one thing.
To show devotion on a daily basis that KEEPS you as a "smaller" being, is another thing.
'You can never reach divinity in yourself unless you have god/gods to pray/devote to!'
Excuse me? Of course I can. Watch me unfold :)
Epicurus once said: "It is folly for a man to pray to the gods for that which he has the power to obtain by himself."
And that's it.
That is EXACTLY it,
for me.
♥
Skye
(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´ Si vis amari, ama
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•..Quos amor verus tenuit, tenebit
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